Sunday on the Homefront—I Dropped the Bomb

Well, it was bound to happen. I’m a terrible person and I finally dropped the bomb on this “buying a house” thing.

A thought has been nagging me for months, almost a year actually. I’ve been keeping it to myself for many reasons. My biggest reasons are that it was overshadowed by excitement. I’m a very passionate person, I get taken away very easily. My other reason was that I didn’t want to ask Justin something that would be hard for him. I didn’t want to ask him to do something that was risky or that he wouldn’t like.

I want to move back to western Michigan, near my Dad.

Dad has been ear-worming us to death about this everytime we move. I know he wants us up by him and until our last move, I didn’t want to hear it. Our last move was from Adrian, MI to Ypsilanti, MI. We moved in a hurry with great prospects. We left friends and my old jobs behind, including my ceramics studio space. I gave up a lot for that move to be a more “responsible” adult. I got an insurance job and was making more money than I have ever made before. Then, our apartment was infested with bedbugs that they moved us into. That took over a month to exterminate and I found out I was highly allergic. I had golfball sized welts where I had been bitten. Then, not even two weeks after that incident was over, I was fired from my job. Not because I didn’t sell well either, although that’s what I was told, but I won’t get into that political mess.

So, there we were. In less than two months I left all my prospects in Adrian, moved to Ypsi and lost everything I had. I applied and signed up for classes at Washtenaw Community College just to keep my student loans at bay (the private sallie mae loans have no assistance at all for anyone). I went to school for 3 semesters, ran out of financial aid and got accepted in grad school because everyone told me that was the next logical step. No jobs came along until after grad school was already paid for and I could not accept them.  Now we’re here until August 2015 when our lease is up.

I probably don’t have to explain why I don’t want to be here anymore.

Another contributing factor though is our lack of a support system in this city. We have a few good friends around here, but our parents are both two hours away. They can’t help us. And there is no sense of community in this place. Ann Arbor is a dog-eat-dog town, it’s all hipsters and business people killing each other over a parking spot, a promotion or an opportunity. They all seem very intent to screw each other over and I hate it. I believe in helping people succeed and I believe that I can be successful and so can you at the same time. It’s not about being MORE successful than everyone else, but that’s the way it is here.

Anyway, I did tell Justin about this finally. Apart from him being mad at me for keeping it to myself, he was reluctant, which I can understand. If we move back towards my Dad’s house we leave everything behind. Justin will have to leave his job and we will have to start over. At this point, that doesn’t bother me because I know there are just as many opportunities there as there are here, if not more. Grand Rapids is a booming town. We would also have the added support of my dad and we would actually be closer to Justin’s parents too. We would also be closer to more friends, more family, and a community of people that I have a lifetime with already. There are people back home still sending me craft show applications or gallery consignments, they are thinking of me. All I get here is flipped off every day.

This may put a stop to our home buying for a moment. I’m still talking to the USDA about this and trying to get some answers. It may also be possible that we can buy a house up there straight away and just make sure we have secure jobs before we close on it. And if we buy a house and it needs repair, we know we can afford to hire people and we’re both stupid when it comes to fixing things, but we can learn. Having my dad near could be an invaluable source of knowledge, tools, and help when it comes to home ownership.

-new opportunities
-support system/community
-more homes in our price range
-more rural setting
-cheaper rent if we need to rent for a while
-more hunting grounds (literally hunting and fishing)
-large art/craft community
-ceramics studio (my own) already in Dad’s basement

-Justin leaves his job (only source of income, but he’s unhappy there)
-possibility of 1 year wait before we can buy a house
-it could all go wrong again
-extra expenses (moving that far)
-Justin moves to completely unfamiliar territory
-must purchase a kiln sooner

I know we can make the job thing work. I will clean toilets 60 hours a week to make sure we have food and a roof. I want this really badly, but I need to let Justin think about it. I know he believes I would do anything to make it work, but he’s gotten very comfortable in his job and he has a great relationship with his boss. For now we are thinking on it, I only hope that Justin comes to agree with me, but I need to have the civility to accept his decision if he doesn’t.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think. Family/community or a job?


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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Jessica Curry says:

    Hey there Ben, i’m Justin’s cousin Jessica. I’m really glad you have this blog, so maybe I can keep up with what’s going on in your lives, since we don’t get together much anymore. How do I subscribe? I’m new to the blogging world, but thought I’d get onboard. Thanks!

    1. Hi Jessica. If you go to our homepage, on the right side there should be a place that says Subscribe by Email or you could start your own blog and just hit the follow button at the top!

    2. Correction, it says “Follow Blog by Email” and you just click the “follow” button.

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